From my in-box at Channel Thirteen:
From: REDACTED
Sent: Mon 6/29/2009 4:06 PM
To: Karr, Rick
Subject: The anti-MJ tribute commentaryA very much opposing view of the Michael Jackson tributes….from Republican strategist Jack Burkman…to schedule please use media contacts below:
1. The celebration of Jackson’s death — which is what the cable shows are doing — is a shocking indictment of American culture. Jackson was a drug addict, a nut, a person who tried through plastic surgery to turn himself into a transvestite, and a cross dresser. This, of course, leaves aside charges of child molestation but he was found innocent.
A transvestite … AND a crossdresser!
2. Jackson is the last person in the world who should be thought of as a role model for anyone but for bizarre reasons. The cable channels, though, are determined to present him as a role model. Everyone is heroic these days when they die but this case is strange and excessive even for news in 2009.
3. Worse yet, cable doesn’t offer the other view: how about those who would say “Good riddance to bad rubbish!” Why is it immoral to criticize the dead when they deserve it?
Burkman is available for live or taped interviews to share his opinion and debate the issue.
… and if you don’t call, he’ll be crashing funerals nationwide to shout, “Neener! Neener!” and blow loud raspberries.
Media contacts redacted to spare them any more shame. Hey, they’re just doing their jobs.
I, too, am available for live or taped interviews to share my opinions on any number of issues.
I, on the other hand, am available only for taped interviews on a specific number of issues. I will grant consent for such an interview only if the request includes a correct guess the number. (Hint: It’s a natural number.)